Guys who constantly talk about their insecurities appear gloomy to their girlfriends. But what exactly are these phrases, habits of speech that wear women out? We asked our Japanese female readers, “What negative sounding things does your boyfriend say?” Today we’ll be sharing their comments.
1. When picking clothes, he complains, “I’m an ugly guy, anyway.”
“If that’s true, then what does it say about the girl going out with you?” said a Japanese girl in her teens. When he insults himself, it can seem like he’s indirectly insulting his girlfriend, too.
2. He does everything halfheartedly, saying, “I can’t do it well anyway...”
“It feels like I can’t rely on him, and I lose my motivation,” said a Japanese woman in her twenties. Many women feel negative emotions when their boyfriends make self-deprecating comments.
3. After any small failure, he cries, “It’s over—I’m finished!”
“It feels like he’s just trying to run away,” said a Japanese woman in her thirties. Guys who always complain after failing will end up reinforcing their image as someone who lives in the past.
4. To a proposed date idea, he responds, “But I have no money.”
“When he said, ‘I have no money,’ it felt like he was blaming me,” said a Japanese woman in her thirties. Too much talk about not having money can hurt a girlfriend’s feelings. Guys should be proactive and propose a date they can afford instead.
5. When eating out, he repeatedly asks, “Is this place OK?”
“If he asks too many times, I start wanting to say, ‘OK: let’s just leave’,” said a Japanese woman in her twenties. Having a guy worry too much about your every whim can stress a girl out.
6. He says “sorry” too much.
“If he’s too careful around me, I get self-conscious,” said a Japanese woman in her twenties. Too much apologizing can put unnecessary pressure on the girl.
7. Whenever he feels insecure about his girlfriend, he asks, “Do you like me?”
“It’s too serious, and that lack of confidence makes me want to hate him,” said a Japanese girl in her teens. Guys who make too many insecure comments can seem “heavy” and overly serious.
8. He sulks by saying, “Even if I weren’t around, you’d be fine.”
“When he clearly wants me to say, ‘That’s not true!’ it’s annoying,” said a Japanese girl in her teens. Guys who use roundabout ways of saying things often don’t get the response they expect.
9. He gets jealous of others, saying, “They look like they’re having fun.”
“He just envies others and I can’t feel any motivation from him,” said a Japanese woman in her twenties. Self-deprecating comparisons can make guys look like they are making excuses.
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