The period when you first start dating is often the most enjoyable and fun time in a relationship. But when you are unable to mutually understand each other, even little things can cause stress. So we surveyed our female Sugoren readers to discover the “things about a new boyfriend that can stress a girl out.”
1. Keeping reminders of his ex-girlfriend, like photos or her personal possessions, in his room.
“I can’t understand why he wouldn’t throw out his ex-girlfriend’s things. But I don’t want to seem like a jealous nag by saying it, either.” This puts a woman in a complicated position. If those mementos are important to you, be considerate to her and keep them under wraps.
2. Talking about his “heroic exploits” in a shameless attempt to look cool.
“It makes me cringe to hear him talk so happily about his heroic past.” Excessive boasting can make a woman go cold.
3. When the gap between their views on money matters is unavoidable during every date.
“Big spender or penny pincher, they’re both difficult types to have a relationship with.” We received several opinions attesting to this. Of course, the topic of money will come up in any relationship. In order to align your views on money, we suggest that you first carefully observe how your girlfriend spends her money and behave accordingly.
4. Kissing in public, and other unfamiliar attempts at “affection.”
“When his attempts at being affectionate are too extreme, it makes me pull away.” People have different personal boundaries and comfort levels with respect to physical contact. Unless she desires it, it might be better to keep your public displays of affection modest.
5. When the frequency of his phone calls and emails demonstrate his enthusiasm for the relationship.
“When he doesn’t call or email me very often, it makes me feel insecure, that I’m not being loved.” As you can see here, women can interpret frequency of contact as an indicator of affection.
6. When you’re not getting along due to differences in lifestyles.
“He’s a total night owl. There’s no way I can make this relationship work!!” We’ve received several complaints like this. When your lifestyle patterns are too different from each other, not only is it difficult to go on dates or even contact each other, it can put a lot of stress on her.
7. Excessively deferring to her, and trying to do whatever she wants.
“When he goes out of his way to accommodate me, or says ‘whatever you like’ to everything, it’s just not fun.” When you are too blatantly over-considerate to her, it can actually be unpleasant for her.
8. Being so overly passive that you don’t even hold hands.
“After all, we’re in a relationship, but when he’s so unaffectionate...” We’ve received a lot of opinions like this. It’s difficult for a woman to take the lead, because she may be seen to be too aggressive, so it may be better for the man to be more proactive.
9. Becoming extremely possessive once you’re in a romantic relationship.
“When he has to comment on every little thing, like what I do all day, or about my friends...” When being possessive goes too far, she can come to dislike you.
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