Many couples have to live far apart because of work or school. We gathered some opinions from Japanese women to present “things you’ll want to promise before starting a long distance relationship.”
1. Make sure that both of you always send emails or texts to say good morning and good night.
“When I can’t be with him, just getting a message saying ‘good morning, how are you?’ makes me really happy,” says a Japanese woman in her twenties. Casually exchanged emails or texts during the day can help bridge the emotional distance when you’re physically far apart from each other, too.
2. Do your best to keep each other up to date on your schedules, like telling your partner what days you can’t be reached.
“Even if I know it’s because of work, when I can’t get hold of him it worries me,” says a Japanese woman in her twenties. It appears that many Japanese women are in favor of knowing their boyfriends’ schedules in advance.
3. It’s important to remember to trust each other, especially because you aren’t physically with your partner.
“When I don’t get to see him, it tends to make me more distrusting,” says a Japanese female in her twenties. Maybe feelings like this can’t be helped, but as another Japanese woman of the same age says, “In the end, it’s important that we trust each other.” Assertions like these have a peremptory and convincing power to them.
4. Don’t just email or text—try to talk on the phone as often as you can.
“Emails are good, but I really want to hear his voice,” says a Japanese woman in her twenties. After all, if the two of you are in love, it’s only natural to want that.
5. Make sure to talk about how to pay for travel expenses.
Many people who’ve experienced long distance relationships hold the opinion that, as one Japanese female in her twenties says, “Paying for travel is difficult.” Another Japanese woman in her twenties says, “Travel expenses should be shared equally.” It’s probably a good thing to establish expectations about this from the very start.
6. Set up a year’s schedule in advance, and plan for days when the two of you can get together.
If you won’t be able to see much of each other, “We should prioritize spending long holidays together,” says a Japanese female in her twenties. For a Japanese girlfriend, this kind of thinking is to be expected.
7. Avoid doing things that might appear to be cheating, like socializing with other women.
“Even if he cried and apologized, I could never trust him again,” says a young Japanese woman in her twenties. As you can see here, a “tiny impulse” can become the cause for a reluctant breakup. You should seriously keep in mind that regaining your partner’s trust will be very difficult, since you are not there in person.
8. Think about how long you plan to continue this long distance relationship, and what you want to do for a possible future together.
“When we continue to live apart, and I can’t see what the future holds, it’s really hard,” says a Japanese female in her twenties. A lot of women share this opinion. “I want a clear and specific goal, like, ‘We’ll get married when I turn 28!’” says another Japanese female in her twenties. Making plans for the future together can be a big relationship builder for both of you.
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